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"I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid."

—Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts], Recurring Saturday Night Live comedy bit

 

Local News From The Denver Post

Two killed, one hospitalized in Weld County accident  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 18:55:23 MDT
Two people were killed Monday in Weld County when the vehicle they were riding in was struck by a semi-trailer truck rolled over and struck a vehicle. 
Woman arrested after man is killed in Calhan shooting  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 20:30:34 MDT
The El Paso County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman Monday night in connection with a shooting death. 
Gunnison seeks to protect grouse, residents from endangerment listing  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 19:14:48 MDT
It is believed to be the only job of its kind in the country: A wildlife biologist reviews permits in Gunnison County for everything from a septic tank to a McMansion to determine whether the construction will impact a showy little bird. 
92-year-old man who died in Chaffee bomb explosion was a loner  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 18:46:22 MDT
Edwin Bartheld built his home on abandoned mining claims, so when Omar Richardson heard he was killed in an explosion, he thought the 92-year-old had fallen victim to old, unstable dynamite he found on the property. 
Body found behind Arapahoe Village could be Boulder's sixth homeless death of 2014  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 18:29:02 MDT
Boulder police are investigating what appears to be the city's sixth homeless death outdoors this year after the body of a man was found behind the Arapahoe Village shopping center over the weekend. 
Denver 2015 budget proposal adds sheriff's deputies, big projects  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 18:13:20 MDT
Denver city officials have proposed a 2015 budget that would pay for dozens more jail deputies, expansion of the independent monitor's office, two police recruit classes and body cameras for 
Denver schools wait for study of contractor diversity, plan for quotas  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 18:06:10 MDT
Preparing for the results of a study looking at the diversity of Denver Public Schools' contractors , the district is drafting a plan to implement diversity quotas for every project if the study shows a biased disparity. 
South Suburban Parks & Recreation District will ask voters for tax increase  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 17:08:57 MDT
The South Suburban Parks and Recreation District will ask voters in November to approve a mill levy increase its says it needs to meet the maintenance demands of aging facilities, parks and 
Colorado doctors warn that sepsis can be a hidden killer in hospitals  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 16:56:56 MDT
Sepsis is a leading cause of death in the United States, yet fewer than half of Americans surveyed have heard of it. 
Colorado unveils new multi-mission wildfire-fighting aircraft  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 16:56:31 MDT
State fire officials unveiled a new multi-mission aircraft they hope will fundamentally change how wildfires are fought in Colorado. 
Centennial Airport noise monitors to collect data by year's end  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 16:47:07 MDT
Centennial Airport expects to have its recently installed noise monitors officially collecting data toward the end of the year, providing data that could help mitigate noise from the second-busiest general aviation airport in the country. 
Adams County accepting household hazardous waste Saturday  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 16:04:05 MDT
Adams County residents can get rid of any unused or leftover chemical products on Saturday at the 2014 Adams County Household Chemical Roundup. 
Aurora theater shooting trial one step closer after judge's order  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 15:42:18 MDT
The trial of the Aurora movie theater gunman has moved one step closer, after the judge denied the last of the defense's objections over expert witness testimony. 
Four Denver students burned in chemistry lab mishap; fire put out  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:59:09 MDT
Four students were injured Monday morning in a chemistry lab accident at a Denver school when a teacher's demonstration went awry. 
Amid controversy, local law enforcement acquiring military hardware  Mon, 15 Sep 2014 14:58:11 MDT
The first time Elbert County Sheriff Shayne Heap walked into the Defense Reutilization and Marketing Office (DRMO) at Fort Carson, he felt as giddy as a kid on Christmas morning.