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"I think a good novel would be where a bunch of men on a ship are looking for a whale. They look and look, but you know what? They never find him. And you know why they never find him? It doesn't say. The book leaves it up to you, the reader, to decide. Then, at the very end, there's a page you can lick and it tastes like Kool-Aid."

—Jack Handey [Deep Thoughts], Recurring Saturday Night Live comedy bit

 

World News From BBC

Drug-resistant malaria 'widespread'  Wed, 30 Jul 2014 21:28:46 GMT
Drug-resistant malaria is spreading in South East Asia, and has now reached the Cambodia-Thailand border, according to a study. 
'E-cigs less harm than cigarettes'  Wed, 30 Jul 2014 23:34:56 GMT
An analysis of the current evidence available on e-cigarettes suggests they are safer than conventional cigarettes. 
Everton complete Lukaku signing  Wed, 30 Jul 2014 20:28:11 GMT
Everton sign Belgian World Cup striker Romelu Lukaku from Chelsea for a club record fee of £28m. 
'We lost our heads' admits Deila  Wed, 30 Jul 2014 22:52:40 GMT
Celtic manager Ronny Deila says his side lost their heads as they lost 4-1 to Legia Warsaw in Champions League qualifying. 
How many men are paedophiles?  Tue, 29 Jul 2014 23:34:41 GMT
The Pope was reported to have said that about 2% of Catholic clergy are paedophiles - but how does this compare to society as a whole? 
The pre-nup that can end a happy marriage  Mon, 28 Jul 2014 23:40:09 GMT
In parts of Yemen when a brother and sister from one family marry siblings from another, the couples' fates can be locked together regardless of how happy they are. 
'Dozens of bodies' at Libya base  Wed, 30 Jul 2014 17:42:17 GMT
At least 35 bodies are reportedly recovered from a military base that was overrun by Islamist-led militias in the Libyan city of Benghazi. 
Kiribati claims historic medal  Wed, 30 Jul 2014 22:23:02 GMT
Weightlifter David Katoatau earns Kiribati its first ever Games medal with gold in 105kg as Ben Watson wins bronze. 
Nato 'unprepared for Russia threat'  Thu, 31 Jul 2014 07:53:35 GMT
Nato is poorly prepared for an attack on a member state by Russia, a group of MPs warns in a report. 
US travel ban on Venezuela officials  Wed, 30 Jul 2014 15:50:03 GMT
The US imposes travel restrictions on Venezuelan government officials it says are linked to human rights abuses during recent protests. 
France evacuates expats from Libya  Wed, 30 Jul 2014 11:16:09 GMT
The French government says it has evacuated French and British nationals from Libya, as battles rage between government forces and militias. 
House votes to sue President Obama  Thu, 31 Jul 2014 04:08:25 GMT
The US House of Representatives has passed a resolution authorising a lawsuit against the president for allegedly exceeding his constitutional powers. 
UK border staff 'not ready' for Ebola  Thu, 31 Jul 2014 09:23:35 GMT
Immigration and customs staff feel unprepared to deal with people arriving in the UK with suspected cases of the Ebola virus, a union leader warns. 
Two thirds of pier saved in fire  Thu, 31 Jul 2014 09:35:52 GMT
Fire crews save two thirds of Eastbourne Pier after fire destroyed part of the structure, leaving a metal skeleton. 
New Ofsted chair to be announced  Thu, 31 Jul 2014 06:57:51 GMT
Businessman David Hoare is set to be announced by the government as the new chairman of schools regulator Ofsted, the BBC understands.